Love Over The Other
by deadgoddess
Summary: Everything stopped at that moment. I felt nothing but his touch. It was a shame that this was going to be the first and last intimate moment I could ever share with him... -AU. Oneshot


**LOVE OVER THE OTHER**

Rated T – Romance/Drama – A OneShot

* * *

"Dear Ed…" This was my thirteenth paper.

"Dear Edward…" Wrong again. My room was almost filled with trash, yet this letter was still far from complete. You wouldn't be surprised why. Getting the heart of this letter's recipient wouldn't be as easy as a walk in the park. It's like he'll get burned or something, whenever I come too close to him.

Sometime I wonder what I've done to merit such a treatment from him. What the hell? It was like I never even existed.

I've already done everything to get his attention. Having done _everything_ includes sending him some "hi" or "hello" every night, even though I knew I would only look like a fool because he never bothered to reply.

At drastic times, I intentionally let him hear me rant about him, directly or _in_directly, "What's wrong with the world? It is really so hard to please _someone_ who doesn't even acknowledge your existence! Who does he think he is, anyway?"

After all those, nothing. I've tried everything. The only things left to do to get his attention was exhibit some back flips or breathe fire in front of him just to be able to say, "Hello? I'm here!"

Which brings us here to where I'm trying a new tactic – writing him a letter. But look at me now! I can't even write coherently, because I absolutely have no idea what to tell him, more importantly, _how_ to tell him. I even wondered if I'd need a master's degree in English just to tell him that I like him. It's so frustrating. And compared to all the articles I've passed everyday, a simple _love letter_, I can't even do right?

But what I can't accept the most was the fact that he only bothers to be in the same room as me when he needs something or when we're assigned to a project together. I mean, is professionalism his thing?

Me? Immaturity is what I'd use to describe him. I mean, the only reason our friendship got ice-cold was that he learned from someone that I had a thing for him. Could someone please hit him in the head and knock some sense into him?

I consulted my college friends. They didn't really know this 'Edward' of mine, but because I knew him well to describe him perfectly, I think I got two plausible answers from them.

First, "Come on, Bella. That _Edward_ is just big-headed! That's all," said my friend Rosalie. 'Coz you know, when my feelings for him were revealed, his reactions were just so dull, nothing like his usual self around me. There were the answers, "it's okay", "it's fine," when he replies to my messages. And believe me, it was like a miracle for me to receive a message from him.

There even an instance when we got a chance to talk. I was just so frustrated, as if I've disturbed his life that he couldn't sleep because I was always in his mind. _Aww_… _How sweet… _Yeah, right.

He just shrugged and told me, "It's ok to have a crush on me, just know your boundaries." This was the start of me feeling awkward around him. I felt bad that I bothered him so much which is why he was slacking off at work.

It was just so ironic for someone like Edward, who was so popular with the girls, to be bothered with something as simple as me having a crush on him. This is where my friends' second answer comes in.

"Wait. Maybe this _Edward _is just not interested – you know, in girls. Like, he's gay or something," said my other friend Alice. I've already thought of that before, and not just thought, I wished of that before.

Alice had a point there. There's really a grounds how someone would doubt his sexuality. A guy like Edward was just so artistic – everything he'd lay his eyes on, he'd love to just decorate it.

Even his wallet. No one would doubt that it was made by Edward himself. Duh. Have you ever seen someone whose wallet had plastered on it in bold and striking colors words that read, "One Hot Edward."

And don't get me started with his collection of pens. I think that he's the only person I know with green, aqua, purple pens, and every other striking ink color you could think of. My pens were nothing compared to his.

I even thought that even the heavenly beings would send me constant confirmations to our suspicions. You see, at times when I followed him when he headed for the Church, I was shocked to see him meet up with a guy, and not just any guy – he was russet-skinned, tall, and cute, with his long black hair and dark eyes. I don't even know if I should be happy or sad with this. Happy because he didn't hate me as a girl, but he was just not interested; or sad, because I now know he has a _man_ of his own, unlike me.

But, contradicting to all those signs, we could never explain why he's an avid fan of men's magazines. Was he looking at the bras of the models to inspire his own fashion statement? I mean, hello? Would Edward really wear a _bra_?

Another thing was, it seemed natural for Edward to have a thing with colorful ballpens, because aside from being a reporter, he was also the side-artist in our newspaper.

We even asked his friends Emmett and Jasper for just the tiniest bit of confirmation, but it only increased the chances of Edward being a straight guy. Emmett even said, "When we talk about chicks, he joins us all the time. I can assure you, the dude's straight!" Ugh. How disappointing.

There were also those people who were brave enough to ask him directly about this, and just many who were disappointed when they hear him answer, "I'm straight."

But I didn't really care if he was gay or not. Whatever the answer was, there was no chance for mutual love. But, all I would ask for him is to stop treating me as just some 'invisible woman'. I just wished that he treated me the same way he did before he knew.

* * *

After I've finally given Edward my letter, I noticed some changes in his actions towards me.

Moments ago, after going to the bathroom and returning to my desk, Edward invited me to lunch. I don't know what took over me. Maybe it was my long time irritation with him, or maybe it was because of my attempts to try and act cool. Whatever the reason was, I rejected him and ever so coldly avoided him.

To tell you the truth, I was expecting him to pull me back and plead for my forgiveness, as I have seen on the dramas on TV. But he never did.

The thing he did was what I didn't expect. I was about to open my computer when I noticed something tucked under my cell phone – a letter.

At first, I thought Edward didn't take my letter seriously and decided to return it. But then, I remembered the way he acted at lunch. I was confused, which is why I opened the letter.

I think that that letter was the thing that provoked me to confront him once and for all, despite our cold shoulder treatment with each other. The reasons why I avoided him slipped out of my mind. All I could think of was how desperate I was to talk this out with him.

When I finally found him eating in the cafeteria, I rushed to his table and sat in front of him. "Let's eat," was the greeting of the man I loved.

I knew he knows the reason I rushed to see him. I just went straight to the point, "Why are you resigning?"

At first, he smiled the most heartwarming smile I've seen from him these past few days. But I stared straight into his green eyes unwavering, refusing to wince at the intensity. Moments passed and I knew that by now he would be compelled to answer. "It would be the best for the both of us," he said.

It was like I was damned by Heaven and Earth with what he just said. To think that not talking to him was hurtful, what more if I wouldn't get to see him again?

"I just want you to know that you're not the reason for this. I avoided you not because I didn't like you, but because I didn't want you to get your hopes up."

Rage was starting to build inside of me. He still didn't answer my question. I asked him again, "But tell me why do you have to leave? We could just stop all of this, pretend I never –."

"I'm entering the seminary," was his immediate answer to me. At first, I couldn't believe him. It was just not in Edward's character to become a priest. But his eyes were serious, with no hint of humor. With those eyes, anything he'll say, I'll believe.

At that point, I felt like I was the most incompetent fool alive. I was competing with God for his love. Did I even stand a chance?

I wanted so badly to hold him tight at that moment before I completely said goodbye. But who am I to hope that that would change a thing?

I decided then and there to just walk away and let him live the life he chose for himself. I was stunned when I felt strong arms wrap around me as I was just a few feet away.

Everything stopped at that moment. I felt nothing but his touch. It was a shame that this was going to be the first and last intimate moment I could ever share with him.

Seconds that felt like hours ticked, and he spoke again, "Things are going to be fine. I know you'll find someone else someday."

I really wanted to tell him otherwise. He was the one – the _only_ one. But I didn't want him to feel guilty when he would be finally entering the seminary, so instead, I tried my best to be sincere, "I hope so."

I pulled myself away from his arms. I didn't want him to see the tears running down my face. But then, he pulled me back again. This time, he placed, in my right hand, a piece of paper. As I closed my hand tightly around it, I ran out of our building – it was raining outside. So, the skies were crying too?

I ran and ran until I reached the park. No one was there, and the trees were shielding it from the rain. I opened the now crumpled paper and smoothed it in my hand. I recognized it almost immediately.

It was the proclamation I so hardly spilled my heart out on, but it was only a torn piece from the letter I had given him. In that piece of paper contained the three most significant words, "_I love you._"

* * *

**A/N: I'm so sorry. I don't know what took over me. The last thing I remember was me, sleeping. Then, the Martians came and overshadowed my body. They wrote this! Not me..! O.O**

**Well, so sorry. I know I still have Iron Man to update. I'm still writing it now despite my busy school days..**

**You know what to do, tell me how I did! :D**


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